There are a variety of reasons why
people gain weight: a lifetime of unhealthy habits, lack of motivation, depression, body-image issues, hormones, injury, or illness.
Those same reasons (and more) can keep you from losing weight as well. One in particular can
be harder to overcome than others: fear of losing weight.
Anyone who has tried to lose weight — and failed — knows
that mental roadblocks can play as big a role as diet and exercise in your
success.
The
Psychology of Losing Weight
“If it was only a matter of ‘calories in and calories
out,’ everyone would be losing weight,” says Elizabeth Lowden, M.D., a
bariatric endocrinologist at the medical weight-loss program of Northwestern
Medicine in the Chicago area. “But there’s a psychological component to losing
weight for most people.”
Lowden’s assessment of weight-loss patients includes find
out how how they gained it, what has tripped them up and kept them from losing
in the past, and what about losing weight scares them, “to find out what’s
standing in the way that we need to deal with,” she says.
“Weight is intertwined in people’s sense of security and
self-confidence,” says Matt Traube, Ph.D., a psychotherapist in Southern
California. “So it has a far-reaching emotional impact in a lot of important
areas in people’s lives.”
Burying your fears or dismissing them as silly could
sabotage your plans to get healthier. The first step: Identifying what could be
holding you back. Here are the most common reasons people are afraid to lose
weight.
1.Fear of
the Unknown
There are a million wild cards related to weight loss,
especially if you’ve been on the heavier side most of your life. Some fears
concern the physical. People worry about what the “thin version” of themselves
might look like: Will my face
look too gaunt? Will I be left with extra loose skin if I lose a lot of weight?
But many fears are psychological: “We all have a baseline
understanding of what normal is, or our norm,” Traube says. “It’s what we know
and what we feel comfortable with. Sometimes even when we know our current
behavior or physical characteristics aren’t the healthiest, changing that is
scary.”
A big weight loss is a major life change, which can be
frightening. “You might wonder, for example, ‘What would life be like if I were
skinnier?'” says Traube. “Not knowing the answer can provoke anxiety.”
2.Fear
That Your Relationships Might Change
We’ve all seen that rom-com where the overweight girl
loses the extra pounds, gets a makeover, then gets mean-girled by “friends” for
shedding her role as the less attractive sidekick.
It’s a common trope for a reason: Consciously or
subconsciously, people develop expectations of friends and family members,
which include elements of people’s appearance and self-esteem. Partners, too,
or even co-workers, might feel threatened or resent your weight loss,
particularly if they struggle with weight themselves. They might feel abandoned
when your progress surpasses theirs.
“People get used to you looking a certain way or being a
certain way, so changing that could make others feel betrayed or jealous,”
Traube says.
Even if loved ones are genuinely happy about your weight
loss, there might still be a fear that people in your life just won’t view or
support you the way they did before, adds Lowden.
The possibility of new relationships after a weight loss
can inspire fears, too.
“Extra weight can be a great defense mechanism, because it
provides an excuse not to have to face uncomfortable new experiences such as
dating or establishing new friendships,” Traube says.
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