3.Fear
of Unwanted Attention
Extra weight also can create a protective barrier
between the person carrying it and people in the world who can make you feel
vulnerable.
“Clearly, the amount of attention women get in our
society is significant compared to the attention men get,” Traube says. “And
unfortunately, what’s said on the street isn’t always respectful toward women,
which can be scary.”
A lot of women might not relish the idea of
eliciting attention from strangers on the street, but it’s a more common fear
and a greater source of anxiety for women with a history of abuse. After a
trauma that made someone feel vulnerable or taken advantage of, extra pounds
can be comforting because a person might feel he or she generates less
attention at a heavier weight.
And although the possibility of more people expressing sexual interest
in you might be a reason to lose weight, the flip side is that it also might
raise the risk of having to deal with uncomfortable and unfamiliar experiences
in the dating world.
4.Fear
of Failure
“People often tell themselves, ‘If I’m skinny, I’m
going to find the love of my life,’ or ‘I’ll be successful in my career once I
lose weight,'” Traube says. “It’s a typical cognitive distortion, thinking, ‘I
just need to change this and everything will be better.'”
The idea that you could do all that work and then
still have many of the same problems can be terrifying, he says. “It can be
scary to have to confront the thought that it wasn’t the weight, it’s you.”
Still others fear that if they lose a noticeable
amount of weight and gain it back over and over again, people will criticize or
ridicule them.
5.Fear
of Giving Up What’s Comfortable
Weight gain is interwoven with all sorts of coping
mechanisms. It’s extremely common for people to hide behind their weight
or eat to make themselves feel good, no matter what their level of
actual hunger. Eating is a common way to quell anxiety and depression, so when
you lose that effective coping mechanism, it can make you feel anxious, Traube
says.
The snack-as-security-blanket habit is one of the
most difficult for many people to let go of, he says. Also common for
introverts who struggle with weight is using it as an excuse to stay home and
isolate themselves.
“If you have social anxiety, weight is a wonderful
way to keep you at home,” Traube says. “This is a big reason why losing weight
is scary for a decent percentage of people.”
6.Fear
of Embarrassment
Losing weight often involves “putting yourself out
there” literally as well as figuratively. Most doctors advise people trying to
shed pounds to get more movement into their days, starting with walking
or easing into a workout routine at home. People comfortable flying
under the radar might feel anxious when experiencing such exposure, Lowden
says.
Want to fight your fears? Here are some steps to
take to kick your fears out of the way and get healthier, starting now.
How
to Overcome Your Fears
1. Start Small
Sure, it’s good to set a goal like dropping a set
amount of pounds to get down to a healthy weight. But it’s just as important
to identify smaller goals that will set you on a steady,
long-term path in the right direction.
“I’m a firm believer that small steps equal big
progress,” Traube says. “When the bar is set too high, it can create paralysis
in people so they don’t even want to get off couch and start.”
“People can sabotage themselves by jumping into
something when they aren’t ready yet,” Lowden adds.
When we push too far and too fast mentally and
physically, it’s hard to stay motivated, Traube says, because who
wants to do something that’s so difficult? He suggests to patients to start
with very small goals, such as making healthier shifts in diet habits,
and build from there.
“I describe it as reverse-engineering a process and
tell them to give it some time,” he says. “Don’t expect to change everything in
a weekend.”
2. Log Your Fears
You’ve heard this advice before — because it
works: Keep a journal, even if you’re already tracking calories,
Lowden says. Focus on how you feel while you’re eating, what you eat how you
feel before and afterwards. After a few days, you might be able to identify
some patterns, such as heading for a snack after a stressful work call or
meeting, or starving yourself until your kids go to bed.
“You could discover an emotional component to your
eating or that maybe you don’t have much time to yourself and need some more
‘me time,'” she says.
When you’re conscious of what’s happening on an
unconscious level, you have more control of it, Traube says: “Once a fear
becomes a tangible idea rather than something you can’t put your finger on, you
can begin to make choices over it.”
3. Seek Out Support
Much like writing things down can help you identify
patterns and issues, talking about them also can help bring them to the
forefront. Support groups at weight-loss clinics or online can be great
resources, Lowden says, adding that apps and websites have the added bonus of
anonymity, so you can share thoughts and fears without
embarrassment.
4. Plan for the Long Term
You might lose weight fast by drastically
restricting calories, but once you reach your goal weight, you’ll most likely
return to old eating habits and gain all the weight back.
Losing weight in a healthy way might take longer, but your chances of
establishing healthier changes for longer are much greater.
“Having a plan to maintain weight is an important but often overlooked aspect
of weight loss, Lowden says. “If people can identify what trips them up and
stick with the diet humans are supposed to be on, rather than radically
reducing calories, they have more long-lasting success,” she adds.
Conquering your fears can be daunting proposition,
but by figuring out the root causes and employing smart strategies, you can
move closer to your goal of losing weight and getting healthy.
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