This
started for me when I was 13 years old. I remember standing on a scale, seeing
"110" staring back at me, and thinking, "I'm so fat. I need to
lose 10 pounds." For some reason I had this number in my mind: 100. And
until I reached it, I wouldn't be happy.
This internal pressure hit me at such
a young age, like most girls, because of the perfectly photo-shopped bodies in magazines and on TV, but I also heard comments from
my parents. "I can't believe so-and-so gained so much weight!" I knew
being fat was a bad thing, so I devoted my entire life to becoming thin. I was
constantly comparing myself to others and pinching and prodding at myself in
the mirror, saying hurtful things.
Now at 40 years old, I
realised that this trash-talk to myself hasn't stopped. If anything, it's
gotten worse. While talking to my CrossFit coach before class one day, she said
she too was obsessed with reaching a certain number on the scale. And she
was constantly saying things to herself that she wouldn't say to her best
friend. Things like:
"I feel so fat."
"I'm disgusting."
"I look horrible."
"I need to lose weight."
"My bum is too big."
"I shouldn't have eaten that."
"I need to exercise more."
"I wish my stomach was flatter."
"I'm disgusting."
"I look horrible."
"I need to lose weight."
"My bum is too big."
"I shouldn't have eaten that."
"I need to exercise more."
"I wish my stomach was flatter."
Or even things that don't have
to do with weight, but about your abilities, like when you're in a fitness
class:
"I suck at this."
"Everyone is better than me."
"Everyone is better than me."
